Ten Ways to Get a Girl or Guy to Like You

I just watched a couple great videos for teens and parents:

For our young ladies:
Ten Ways to Get the Right Guy to Like You
Of course, I especially like his last point – number 1.

For our young gentlemen:
Ten Ways to Get Girls to Like You
Again, I especially like his last point – number 1.

While there, check out the other Blimey Cow videos, as most are pretty good.

 

Cadette Journey – Amaze – Session 2

Materials

  • Leader Journey book and girls’ Journey books
  • 17 boxes
  • Crafty stuff to decorate the boxes
  • 24 pieces of paper and 17 pens

Meeting

Pre-opening: Build and decorate boxes for Peacemaker Kits

Opening (as usual)

Activities:

  • Ask each girl to remind us of her Journey name and to say one thing she does  that makes her a good friend
  • Discuss: What is a stereotype?  What are some examples of common stereotypes that you hear about from your friends?  See on TV or in movies?  How do stereotypes change how we interact with people?  Explain that if they learned anything important then they can write it down and put it in their box.
  • Have the girls look on page 22 in their Journey books.  What stereotypes do they think people would assign to each of the girls there?  What is the problem with stereotypes?  Have the girls look on page 23 of their Journey books.  What are some ways that people might stereotype them that are wrong?  Remind them that if they learned anything important then they can write it down and put it in their box.
  • Circle of Friends:  Ask each girl to draw a circle.  Inside the circle, write words that describe what they look for in friends.  Use pages 31-32 in their Journey books to get ideas.  Outside the circle, write words that describe what they bring to friendships.  Draw a bigger circle around all of that.  Share their circles.  Remind them that if they learned anything important then they can write it down and put it in their box.
  • Talk Show:  Ask each girl to write down a friendship issue that they have, if they have one.  Collect them, read them, and have the group give advice on it.  Remind them that if they learned anything important then they can write it down and put it in their box.

Closing (as usual)

 

Scoutmaster Minute – Wait or Just Do It?

When we see something important that needs to be done, there are two ways that we can respond.  We can wait for someone to tell us to do it.  Or, we can take some initiative, and just do it.  So, which way is riskier

I saw a great example of this at work.  We needed a computer application written.  One group thought it was probably their job to write the application, but they weren’t sure, so they just waited.  Another group did not really think it was their job to write the application, but they knew it was important, so they just did it.  Later, managers had to decide what to do.  Should they ask the group that should write the application to develop it?  Or, should they just take the application that was already written?  Well, as you probably guessed, they took the application that was already written.  Furthermore, they moved the whole responsibility for writing those types of applications to the team that had written it.

So, next time you see something important that needs to be done, don’t just wait around for someone to tell you to do it.  Just do it.

Mom Let Me Decide

writingI remember this story about something awesome my mom did while I was in high school.  It’s a small thing, but I still remember it, and it probably influenced how I have dealt with life issues ever since, and how I approach parenting today.

I was a senior in high school.  The guidance office asked all honor students to write an essay for the local newspaper.  However, with all of the college applications, scholarships and other things for which I had to write essays, along with everything else going on in my senior year, I decided to pass.  Well, the guidance counselor didn’t take too kindly to this.  She asked me to come to her office.  She explained that, by writing this essay, I would be honored in the newspaper and considered for another scholarship.  I was the only honor student who had not done it, so I really needed to do it, like sit there and do it right then.  After understanding this, I still politely (I hope) declined.  The guidance counselor was flabbergasted!  So, she did what schools do next in situations like this – she called my parents.  She explained everything to my mom and then let my mom talk to me.  My mom listened to my side of the story, which pretty much amounted to the fact that I just didn’t feel like doing it.  Then, what happened next is what I will always remember.  Mom told both the guidance counselor and me that it was my decision.  She could have easily pulled the parent card and just told me to do it, but she didn’t.  This wasn’t a matter of life or death, it was just an essay for a newspaper.  So, she let me decide!

Now, before I paint too pretty of a picture, I should note that my decision had more negative consequences than I would have imagined.  I did feel kind of left out seeing all of my friends’ pictures and essays in the newspaper and not seeing mine right there beside them.  And, worse yet, our school yearbook had a special honor student section, and they basically picked the students that were honored in the newspaper, so I was not mentioned there, either.  Indeed, after a few months, I probably wished I had just written that essay.  But, what a life lesson!  I made a decision, so I had nobody to blame for the results but myself.

As I continue my parenting adventure, I like to follow my mom’s example.  This is another one of those parenting topics where people are all over the map.  Some parents micromanage their children’s decisions and would have told their child just to write the essay.  Others parents don’t know what their children are doing and would not have even been involved.  But, if I can be there for my children, let them know I understand and care, maybe even provide a little guidance, but then let them decide some important things in their life, then I have to believe that will prepare them better for life, and maybe, one day, parenting.

Scoutmaster Minute – Happy New Year 2012

Happy New Year!  This is a time when many of us consider New Year resolutions, or what we would like to do better in the next year.  So, I’ll give you something else to consider.  I have a favorite Scoutmaster Conference question about the Scout Law.  It’s not which point is your favorite or how have you lived up to it in the last week or so.  Those are good questions, but my favorite question really makes you think about yourself.  That is, “Which point of the Scout Law do you have the most trouble living up to?  And, how can you be better at it?”  If you ponder those questions for a while then you just might have the making of a great New Year resolution.

Youth and Facebook

facebookOne hot topic these days is if and when a youth should have a Facebook account.  Some parents start a Facebook profile for their child practically from the day he or she is born, or at least let their child have a Facebook account well before the allowed age of 13.  Other parents refuse to let their high school teenager have a Facebook account until he or she turns 18.  Of course, every parent is entitled to his or her own rules.  And, I have my own opinions, which lay somewhere in the middle of the extremes, for those interested…

I believe that any child under the age of 13 years old should not have a Facebook account.  Before I go on, I know some youth under 13 that have Facebook accounts, and I’m even Facebook friends with some of them.  I don’t feel so strongly about this that I think any less of them or don’t want to be their Facebook friend.  But, when it comes to our own children, we make them wait until they turn 13 before they can get a Facebook account.  My first reason is that is Facebook’s rule.  You can argue about how stupid it is, but it’s their Web site, so they get to make the rules.  And, if you study a little Internet law, you’ll realize that it’s not so stupid.  If a Web site lets children under 13 on its site, then it has to obey a lot more laws that would make life ridiculous for them and the rest of us  My second reason for making them wait until they turn 13 is that the only way to break Facebook’s rule is to lie about their age.  You can twist and turn it anyway you like, but the fact is that they have to LIE about their birthday.  We teach our children to be trustworthy and honest, and this issue does not seem to warrant straying from that.  Quite the opposite, since their birthday is a key part of their identity, lying about their birthday is essentially identity fraud, and that’s not among the skill sets that we deem important to teach our children.  My last reason for making our children wait until 13 is that some stuff on Facebook is just not appropriate for younger children.  While most of my friends keep it clean, I have some friends that curse and discuss topics that my pre-teens don’t really need to see just quite yet.

With all of that said, I think every teenager should get a Facebook account on their 13th birthday.  Even if they don’t want one, they should be strongly encouraged to get one.  Social networking is the new norm for communication.  Remember how, some years ago, you found it really annoying if someone didn’t have an e-mail address?  That meant you actually had to (*gasp*) call him on the phone!  And, to be honest, most of us never bothered to call.  We figured if he didn’t care enough to stay up with the times and get an e-mail address, then he just got left behind.  Well, that’s pretty much how it is with Facebook now.  In fact, I recently handled two events just like that.  I was planning the events, so I created Facebook events, and I invited all of my appropriate Facebook friends.  For those not on Facebook, do you think I took the time look up their e-mail addresses and contact them individually? Nope, they just got left out. I know some parents are scared of their youth getting on Facebook or other social networking sites.  They hear horror stories about youth getting abducted and whatnot.  Sure, you have to be careful, set boundaries, and monitor what they do.  But, keeping them off Facebook because it’s not completely safe is like saying you’ll never let them drive because that’s not entirely safe.  And, to be honest, being on Facebook is probably a lot less dangerous than driving.  Of course, if you’re of those few crazy people that Facebook while driving, well that’s a whole other post.  The real point is that it’s probably more dangerous not to be Facebook and similar sites than it is to be on, as you will be left out and left behind, especially as social networking continues to grow as the norm for communication.

Again, this is just my opinion.  Feel free to comment with yours.

Selective Apathy

One key ingredient in relationships is learning to come to an agreement in certain situations.  Of course, caring about the other person and knowing how to compromise go a long way.  However, sometimes a particularly deep-rooted issue feels more important or seems to keep coming up again.  In this case, I found that it can help to go beyond just compromising or even “picking your battles”.  It helps to resort to something I refer to as “selective apathy”.  This may sound less than pleasant at first.  But, if you passionately care about everything, and the other person in the relationship cares equally as much, and you happen to disagree on something, then it will be very difficult to reach any agreement.  On other hand, if you are completely apathetic about everything, then it will be very difficult to find any purpose or enjoyment in life.  However, if you pick some things to be passionate about, but you also select some things to be apathetic about, then you may find a good balance.

Said another way, you might find it helpful to actively pick some things *not* to care about.  Of course, you want to pick the right things.  You want to consider your core values and the issues that are most important to you, as you probably want to keep your passion for those issues.  However, you should also consider the core values and the issues that are most important to the other people in your relationships, as those are potential issues to select to be actively and intentionally apathetic.